One Success Does Not Make You a Parenting Expert

I read a lot of mommy blogs and parenting article sites. My Facebook feed is probably 60% parenting articles, 30% memes and 10% people I actually know. It's ridiculous. Those of us in the supposed Xennial/Milennial generation (you know how I feel about generations based on this previous post) were raised on Googling. What did parents do before the internet? Cry all the time? I can't imagine.

But it's a double-edged sword right? There is a wealth of information at your fingertips but a lot of it is biased, factually incorrect or just plain dangerous. You really have to turn on your bullshit detector. And aside from official aggregate websites for this type of parenting information, you also have the almighty Facebook Mom Groups. These are safe spaces where you can post a photo of your child's actual diarrhea and you will get 50 women chiming in to tell you what to do about it.  Before I was a mom I balked at this. Now I'm like - AWESOME! 

That being said, I have one particular bone to pick. It's those articles based on a parent's ONE experience with getting a child to do something. The ONE time they got them to fall asleep at a specific age, on a specific day. This magic trick worked on their ONE child, and now they are writing an advice article. Me, the reader, desperate to get my child to simply go the fuck to sleep, will read this and think  - YES! I have found the solution! I will breathe deeply while holding my child and she will magically match my deep breathing and magically fall asleep.

HOW ABOUT NO? Let me tell you something. My child has never been a good sleeper, but what I do know is just when I'm about to crack from the sheer torture of 2 solid weeks without sleeping through the night, she suddenly sleeps like a goddamn champion. She passes out in 5 minutes and doesn't wake up til 7:00 AM. Guess what I did to facilitate this miraculous sleep turnaround? NADA. Zip. Zero. Zilch. 

Kids change - constantly! Once you get used to a certain way of things being, and you think you have it figured out, they change. They couldn't live without the blue cup, and now it's all about the green cup. That talking Elmo was their favorite, now it's scary and it must be hidden in a closet where it is now haunting your own dreams. Things are good for a week or two, and then you better hold on to your butt, because things are going to get cray-cray again. It's like kids have a built-in detector for when you're about to have a nervous breakdown and become all cute and sweet and "Mommy you're my best friend - I'm going to float on a puffy little cloud through  my bedtime routine, kiss you on the forehead and sleep for a minimum of 8 hours." 

There is no magic trick. There is only the inevitable ebb and flow of good and bad, light and dark, happiness, and near insanity. This is parenting. The less you try magic tricks and just accept that while sometimes things are going to suck, everything will eventually turn around. It's a rollercoaster with no brakes and everything is on fire, but it's totally worth it when once again, you're on that puffy little cloud with your tiny best friend.